PROCLAIM...
The day carried on and outwardly things appeared the same concerning me, but inwardly not one person would have the slightest idea what had been stirring up in my thoughts. The afternoon arrived and it was time for me to head into work.
As mentioned, I worked at the counter of a miniature golf course a few miles from my hotel room. Daytona Beach is known for its visitors and tourists traveling throughout the year and this day proved no different. Not long into my shift I turned around to assist a visitor and realized it was a friend of mine from high school. I grew up in a then, small city in Southern Maryland and at the age of eighteen my family and I moved to Florida to get a new start on life. Sometimes we move to different places hoping that we will be released from some things or gain some things, but I have found that we cannot outrun or hide from these inward things that follow us wherever we go. The word 'persecution' comes from a root word meaning to 'pursue' and I had learned at a fairly early age that these inward things pursue me day and night until they are overcome and or discarded. So, we moved to Florida in an attempt, I imagine, for my dad to release or gain something. My guess is that he carried with him things just like I had been, except his arms must have been tired for he carried them much longer than I.
On this day, now four years or so later, this friend came down on a vacation with her soon-to-be husband. They were taking one last vacation before they decided to complete their marriage with a ceremony. She was a simple friend that I had known since elementary school and we crossed paths throughout the years but never really engaged in a sort of serious conversation. I say this to let you know that she truly had no extended knowledge of me in high school other what she saw over the years as we passed by the halls and occasional parties. Needless to say, at the time of her visit here in Daytona, four years later, she had no idea I was there and no idea what I had been doing with my life since we completed high school.
Our conversation was short but very powerful.
"Hello Jennifer, it is a surprise to see you here. I haven't seen many people from high school since I moved here. The odds of encountering someone is not too great". She agreed, and stood there with a strange stare on her face. I wondered what she was thinking or perhaps whether she saw something troubling with me that I was unaware of. She asked, "What are you doing here, at this golf place? I had heard back at home (Maryland), that you were a preacher".
A preacher? As foreign as that sounded to me, considering what I had just experienced the night before, just twelve hours ago, it didn't seem to far from the truth. Of course, being at the forefront of my thoughts, I couldn't help but share with her what had just happened to me and how those words, in some way, may be fitting for me. Perhaps not at that time, but in the days to come, as good as the news was that I received, I wanted to share it as I did to her. I don't remember much following that conversation except that she was as interested in it as my friend earlier that morning - little to none. I felt foolish and uncomfortable having that as my conversation after not seeing someone for years. I would imagine that she thought me to be a bit strange, but I can't deny what happened to me.
PROCLAIMER...
I use the word 'proclaim' rather than preacher for my own reasons. Preacher is a word used by the religious community and although it is a word used in the scripture, it carries with it a preconceived idea in the minds of most. My desire is not to be associated in that way, but rather one who may be continuously given the thoughts, words and actions directed by God, in their proper times, and then shared properly.
Proclaim means to cry out or shout. This does not necessarily mean it must be done in an audible way as we are used to with churches and pew and stages and television and radios. While these things may be useful in their ways and times, to cry out or shout may also come in an invisible way. Creation itself shouts the amazing ability of God by the beautiful colors that stretch the sky during evening time. The movement of a turtle can cry out to those who watch, the incredible patience of God. Therefore, in order to avoid potentially connecting to preconceived ideas that may distract or misrepresent, I use the word proclaim.
The visit with her was limited to the 5 minutes we spent speaking to one another at the counter of my work, but the impact of her question set in order a series of thoughts and desires that remain with me today, nearly twenty years later. She called me a preacher having no idea what I just experienced. She had no reason, of our own knowing, to use that word concerning me. It was as if her mouth was opened and God spoke gently and confidently through her voice, to remind me of what I just experienced the night prior. As if God said, 'By the way, I am not finished yet. The work I began in you last night, I will continue to complete it. You will proclaim to the world what you experienced and what you are now aware of will become visible through your life'.
Suddenly, my entire conversation with her became a blur in my mind and my thoughts and awareness went back to the experience the night before. My inner man was crying out in excitement and settledness and love. This was truly something that shook me up and agitated my life. It disrupted my downward way and began to give rise to something new and fresh and alive within me. It disrupted the funeral of my inner man, a funeral procession that had began as a child.
This simple conversation was a confirmation. It was a revisit of truth to confirm that I was not alone although the new day had began and my awareness was now on created things. My focus had to be on the physical things I was involved within the day, but my inner man, the invisible one that was crying out for so long was set at rest and was not to be alone ever again.
My life from that moment on, until now and into the end of this life is to proclaim the truth that is being revealed to me and through me. My life is to cry out the reason and way we are to move. My life is to shout above all other voices, the good news that we do not have to be alone and confused and tired day after day. That we have the ability to see beyond the struggles and weary pressures that come against us moment after moment. Everything makes perfect sense and while we walk in darkness and confusion and ignorance, as I did, I can now see something and hold onto it and speak of it through my life.
'I had heard back home that you were a preacher'. If I had known better at the time, my response would have been, 'Yes, God is proclaiming himself to the world and He intends to use me as a part of this proclaiming'.
This section is in progress...
As mentioned, I worked at the counter of a miniature golf course a few miles from my hotel room. Daytona Beach is known for its visitors and tourists traveling throughout the year and this day proved no different. Not long into my shift I turned around to assist a visitor and realized it was a friend of mine from high school. I grew up in a then, small city in Southern Maryland and at the age of eighteen my family and I moved to Florida to get a new start on life. Sometimes we move to different places hoping that we will be released from some things or gain some things, but I have found that we cannot outrun or hide from these inward things that follow us wherever we go. The word 'persecution' comes from a root word meaning to 'pursue' and I had learned at a fairly early age that these inward things pursue me day and night until they are overcome and or discarded. So, we moved to Florida in an attempt, I imagine, for my dad to release or gain something. My guess is that he carried with him things just like I had been, except his arms must have been tired for he carried them much longer than I.
On this day, now four years or so later, this friend came down on a vacation with her soon-to-be husband. They were taking one last vacation before they decided to complete their marriage with a ceremony. She was a simple friend that I had known since elementary school and we crossed paths throughout the years but never really engaged in a sort of serious conversation. I say this to let you know that she truly had no extended knowledge of me in high school other what she saw over the years as we passed by the halls and occasional parties. Needless to say, at the time of her visit here in Daytona, four years later, she had no idea I was there and no idea what I had been doing with my life since we completed high school.
Our conversation was short but very powerful.
"Hello Jennifer, it is a surprise to see you here. I haven't seen many people from high school since I moved here. The odds of encountering someone is not too great". She agreed, and stood there with a strange stare on her face. I wondered what she was thinking or perhaps whether she saw something troubling with me that I was unaware of. She asked, "What are you doing here, at this golf place? I had heard back at home (Maryland), that you were a preacher".
A preacher? As foreign as that sounded to me, considering what I had just experienced the night before, just twelve hours ago, it didn't seem to far from the truth. Of course, being at the forefront of my thoughts, I couldn't help but share with her what had just happened to me and how those words, in some way, may be fitting for me. Perhaps not at that time, but in the days to come, as good as the news was that I received, I wanted to share it as I did to her. I don't remember much following that conversation except that she was as interested in it as my friend earlier that morning - little to none. I felt foolish and uncomfortable having that as my conversation after not seeing someone for years. I would imagine that she thought me to be a bit strange, but I can't deny what happened to me.
PROCLAIMER...
I use the word 'proclaim' rather than preacher for my own reasons. Preacher is a word used by the religious community and although it is a word used in the scripture, it carries with it a preconceived idea in the minds of most. My desire is not to be associated in that way, but rather one who may be continuously given the thoughts, words and actions directed by God, in their proper times, and then shared properly.
Proclaim means to cry out or shout. This does not necessarily mean it must be done in an audible way as we are used to with churches and pew and stages and television and radios. While these things may be useful in their ways and times, to cry out or shout may also come in an invisible way. Creation itself shouts the amazing ability of God by the beautiful colors that stretch the sky during evening time. The movement of a turtle can cry out to those who watch, the incredible patience of God. Therefore, in order to avoid potentially connecting to preconceived ideas that may distract or misrepresent, I use the word proclaim.
The visit with her was limited to the 5 minutes we spent speaking to one another at the counter of my work, but the impact of her question set in order a series of thoughts and desires that remain with me today, nearly twenty years later. She called me a preacher having no idea what I just experienced. She had no reason, of our own knowing, to use that word concerning me. It was as if her mouth was opened and God spoke gently and confidently through her voice, to remind me of what I just experienced the night prior. As if God said, 'By the way, I am not finished yet. The work I began in you last night, I will continue to complete it. You will proclaim to the world what you experienced and what you are now aware of will become visible through your life'.
Suddenly, my entire conversation with her became a blur in my mind and my thoughts and awareness went back to the experience the night before. My inner man was crying out in excitement and settledness and love. This was truly something that shook me up and agitated my life. It disrupted my downward way and began to give rise to something new and fresh and alive within me. It disrupted the funeral of my inner man, a funeral procession that had began as a child.
This simple conversation was a confirmation. It was a revisit of truth to confirm that I was not alone although the new day had began and my awareness was now on created things. My focus had to be on the physical things I was involved within the day, but my inner man, the invisible one that was crying out for so long was set at rest and was not to be alone ever again.
My life from that moment on, until now and into the end of this life is to proclaim the truth that is being revealed to me and through me. My life is to cry out the reason and way we are to move. My life is to shout above all other voices, the good news that we do not have to be alone and confused and tired day after day. That we have the ability to see beyond the struggles and weary pressures that come against us moment after moment. Everything makes perfect sense and while we walk in darkness and confusion and ignorance, as I did, I can now see something and hold onto it and speak of it through my life.
'I had heard back home that you were a preacher'. If I had known better at the time, my response would have been, 'Yes, God is proclaiming himself to the world and He intends to use me as a part of this proclaiming'.
This section is in progress...
